Do You Hear What I Hear?

January 22nd, 2009 | by Lynn | Tags: adjusting, Anxiety, attitude, Blood Pressure, Frustration, Kids and Teens, Relationships

I could write for days about this topic? Why because I generally do a lot of listening in my job. Most of us do, we just don’t realize it!

Consider this quote, you may have to read it a couple times over!
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

Robert McCloskey

Have you ever thought about the difference between listening and hearing? This has always been a hot topic in our family when the kids were home.

If my child was actually listening to me, then this is how it was intended to be heard:

Me calling on the phone: “Hey, since you are at home can you grab the dishes, straighten the house and all that before Grandpa and Grandma arrive?”

Child: “Yeah, sure, Mom!”

Me: “Ok, honey, see you soon! Love you!

Child: Yeah, Mom, see you soon…bye
~~~

But this is how it actually sounded to my teen:

~~
Me calling on the phone: “Hey, since you are at home ….blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah arrive?”

Child: “Yeah, sure, Mom!” (( but thinking that her friend just lent her a new CD and she HAS to listen to it before I get home–since I told her I didn’t approve of the rating it had been given!))

Me: “Ok, honey, see you soon! Love you!

Child: Yeah, Mom, see you soon…bye (( but thinking, “Man, I’ hungry!”)

I arrive home to an astonished teen, a house in shambles and my In-laws pulling up… and we both have to suffer through a frustrating night with each other.

Later on down the road, in an effort to teach her the difference between hearing and listening, I’d make her repeat what I just said moments before. At first I’d get “the dear in the headlight look”, then the “Oh, come on look!”, then after she caught on to my game, I was blessed with the “spare me, I am not a juvenile look!

DO you hear me?

Or, how about the listening/hearing problems we face in our serious relationships? Remember the book series “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray. It brought to light for many of us that we each speak a different language between genders. To have harmony we have to learn what makes the other one “tick”. BUT, remember, we are human…

Brad Paisley has a way with words in his lyrics. Here is one of my favorite lines from “I’m Still A Guy.” When you say a back rub means only a back rub, and you swat my hand when I try….well now what can I say, at the end of the day, honey, I’m still a guy!

Or let’s talk about Pets:

You have a new puppy who you want to stay out of the garbage, away from your socks and do his “business” outside!

How do you communicate across species? We can barely get the meaning of human words across! Dogs are listening to us, they hear us but we need Cesar Millan class to help bridge the gap.

And cats? Forget it, just come to the realization that (1) they are in charge, you are their staff and (2) if you forget, refer to rule 1.

Communication is so important in life, no matter where we are, no matter who (or what) we spend our time with.

I am gonna have to work on this topic awhile longer.

So for today in your Minds EYE Journal, make a few notes about the people you seem to have a less than perfect rapport…

You can do it! See ya Soon! Lynn