Think before you act!

January 31st, 2009 | by Lynn | Tags: acceptance, adjusting, Beauty, Blood Pressure, Emotional Health and Wellbeing, Frustration, Health, human behavior, Humidity, Kids and Teens, School Time, Slow motion

“Everything has its beauty, not everyone sees it.” Confucius

Does this quote imply that because we may not see something in it’s beauty that it is not beautiful? No, not at all.

There has been a growing trend in our country of patience towards others. No I am not saying that we as a society are patient! THAT is a less we DO have to fix. That is another blog post in itself!

We need to continue to teach our young, while we still have parental influence, to be more accepting and tolerant of people, places and situations. It can be unsettling, when you think about these subjects, that we have ever allowed it to be part of our history, that it sometimes continues on and in certain areas has been growing in our society. I feel the best way to teach is to lead by example. Actions will always speak louder than words.

But this life lesson is not about society. This is about you and your environment. We may not be able to change the world overnight, but we can work on ourselves and in return, add value to the lives around us. In this respect, we learn to take action and lead by example. Words are merely words. They can be said, felt, implied and mistaken. Action with the same words take on a more permanent meaning.

A long time ago, this little country girl was moved from the Northwest, across this great country to a very racially diverse state. Everything was so new to me as I was a young adult and had led a somewhat sheltered life. We were raised to be accepting and gracious to people, but then, so were the people we grew up with. I had no opinions or set beliefs to carry with me in my new experiences.

My youngest, Reebz, was about 4. She had long beautiful hair that I struggled to keep tamed. One morning was especially frustrating as we battled over putting french braids into her hair before we went out to play at the park. The humidity and heat was overwhelming to both of us and I wanted to avoid a “meltdown” later on in the day. Although there was a lot of complaining and squirming, finally the braids were done. Off to the playground we trot.

Slowly the kids in the neighborhood were making their appearance, waking up from the slumber of a summer morning. I noticed Reebz had several new girlfriends, amongst them were several races and nationalities. She was having experiences that I didn’t have growing up. Then I saw it unfold and my frustration level rose. So did my blood pressure!

A little girl was sitting behind Reebz, taking out her long braids. My little “spitfire” wasn’t squirming or making a fuss. The same braids I worked so hard on were being disassembled right in front of my eyes!!! Reebz was enjoying the movement and her little friend was lost in the moment of her new experience.

I realized that this little girl had never felt hair like Reebz had. They were communicating. They were accepting their differences. So was I, in slow motion. I was putting tolerance into action, understanding the reality of the true beauty before me. No words were needed. They were accepting each other for their different backgrounds.

I learned, from their interactions, how I should react. I chose not to respond. I chose to learn a valuable lesson that day. I also learned to avoid conflict with my daughter. I defied my normal, human, motherly behavior and in the process had a healthy relationship that day with my 4 year old.

Our actions are an ongoing process. So is our growth.

So today, in your Minds EYE Journal, I challenge you to think about situations where your reaction on response could have made the outcome better or worse. I have heard it said the hindsight is 20/20. We can still learn from it as long as we don’t dwell in the past!

Good Luck! I know you can do this….. Lynn